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Subject Topic: Speaking of English and words... Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Beth
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Posted: 17 October 2003 at 12:01pm | IP Logged Quote Beth

Speaking of English and words...

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's (2003) winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all thesereally bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a** hole.

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carlrj
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Posted: 17 October 2003 at 1:08pm | IP Logged Quote carlrj

I think this deserves it's own topic

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Posted: 19 October 2003 at 6:51pm | IP Logged Quote Guests

Databaste (v) - the act of consigning your precious information to a data management system where it can simmer.

Oh well all right I'm only a beginner at this! Other ideas?

Jenni
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Beth
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Posted: 20 October 2003 at 2:16pm | IP Logged Quote Beth

Smetadata - Similar to metadata but more like users have smeared data into the data entry form. 
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NancyMcLaughlin
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Posted: 20 October 2003 at 2:31pm | IP Logged Quote NancyMcLaughlin

jennik wrote:
Databaste (v) - the act of consigning your precious information to a data management system where it can simmer.

Oh well all right I'm only a beginner at this! Other ideas?

Jenni

AUDIBLE GROAN !!!

N



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Posted: 20 October 2003 at 4:05pm | IP Logged Quote Guests

Beth, good one!

Ah, a groan! My payback time for excessive use and solicitation of poetry.

R-echo-rd (n): duplicate record

J
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Beth
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Posted: 20 October 2003 at 4:19pm | IP Logged Quote Beth

Normalicetion - A database normalized to the point that the ERD looks like a colony of lice.

Beth

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Posted: 20 October 2003 at 10:45pm | IP Logged Quote Guests

It's been a slow day. Here are some more that kept on popping into my mind at odd times... See if you can figure out the meaning first!

normalisartion
fuction
debig
Hellp
viriable
looop
DaTaA
Dohcmd
smacro
Exelcute
commeant

normalisartion (n) the art of getting your db into third normal form

fuction (n) a piece of code that doesn't ^&*!(&)#!!! work

debig (v) removing large errors from your code

Hellp (n) Access 2000's Help

viriable (n) variable used when writing a virus

looop (n) what you get when you forget to increment your counting variable

DaTaA (n) data that is shared promiscuously

Dohcmd (n) the feeling you get when you spend ages writing a function and then discover that Access has a function or method that does just that and you have reinvented the wheel

smacro (n) the admonition you get from Access L posters when you don't do it with VBA

Exelcution (n) more severe than a smacro, what you get from Access L posters when you admit that you've designed your database to look like a spreadsheet

commeant (n) text following a single quote to indicate what your code is supposed to do rather than what it actually does

Jenni
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Rog3erc
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Posted: 21 October 2003 at 8:13am | IP Logged Quote Rog3erc

jennik wrote:
looop (n) what you get when you forget to increment your counting variable

Jenni

Excellent Jenni.  All of them really, though I would think the above would be  

loops (n) what you get when you forget to increment your counting variable



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Beth
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Posted: 21 October 2003 at 9:38am | IP Logged Quote Beth

I must admit, I have been guilty of the delivery of a smacro...  I'll hang my head low..   But I love it and the Dohcmd!

Beth

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Rog3erc
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Posted: 21 October 2003 at 11:15am | IP Logged Quote Rog3erc

It has been hectic around here, but today I got a chance to try my hand at some:

RuinCommand (n) - macro action which because of its inability to error trap, causes irreparable harm to the database.

Reverential Integrity (n) - nearly ecclesiastical veneration for the Third Normal Form

Abhort (v) - the inability to stop a query execution no matter how many times you push Control-Break

Filther (n) - a filter which when applied, returns garbage

Dambiguous (adj) - describes a Cartesian join of two or more tables, each holding more than 10000 rows.

Likee (n) - Comparison operator for Kanji characters

Optimidation (v) - the process of making your code so complex nobody will ever be able to maintain it.

Sparameter (n) - a parameter which is no longer needed, but which you leave in the function anyway because you might need it some day.

Sintax (n) - Access-L Fee



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Beth
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Posted: 21 October 2003 at 3:24pm | IP Logged Quote Beth

LOL!  Just what I needed to read to lighten the mood.  I've been home all day (and at the doctor's) with my 14 yr old who has a fever that we can't contain, and now I got a call from my other daughter that she is on the way to the doctor's office, and she thinks this time, its time... for the baby.  I'm all packed and waiting for the call to go to the hospital!  Argh!

Compale (v) When you compile your code and the results make you pale.

Beth

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Posted: 21 October 2003 at 4:09pm | IP Logged Quote Guests

Roger! (trying to stifly laughter here so that people don't peer over the partition to see wazzup...) Sparameter! Yes!

Good luck with the baby, Beth. Remember to BREATHE :)

Jenni
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Beth
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Posted: 21 October 2003 at 4:15pm | IP Logged Quote Beth

jennik wrote:
Remember to BREATHE :)


Thanks for the reminder!  I wondered why my head started to hurt! 

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Beth
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Posted: 22 October 2003 at 11:23pm | IP Logged Quote Beth

We had the baby this morning!    I posted the info under the Forum's Topics for Pics.  Now it's time for some much needed sleep...

Beth  

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Posted: 23 October 2003 at 3:51pm | IP Logged Quote Guests

Well done Beth! (and daughter). Sleep? With a new baby? You'll have to wait for a few months IIRC...

She's gorgeous.



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LaurenH
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Posted: 23 October 2003 at 5:22pm | IP Logged Quote LaurenH

I'm sorry I missed all of this while it was in process. I been bizzzy.

heheheh--sparameter--heheheh!

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